Dont hold your breath. Im not losing sleep over you.

Well things went weird today. Basically i woke at 7pm... Woops...

Decided i had about ten pound in my bank account & Stevie & I wanted to do some baking so i thought yeah i'll get up get ready and nip to the shops to buy ingrediants..

So i got all dolled up because i was in a REALLY good mood. the happiest I have felt in a long time.

So i go downstairs & there is a letter from Stow college, Glasgow My heart starts racing.. My hands are trembling.. So i sit on the stairs. & Reliase I haven't gained a place on the course... All feelings go running through my head. I couldnt help it , I broke down on the stairs. Crying hysterically. I wanted to be on that course more than anything in the world!! Everything i done... all the effort I put in. 2 years of acting... down the drain.

My day has consisted of crying constantly. Because I feel that someone has came along with a chainsaw and tore my dreams apart... I should be angry... but I am beyond repair so dissapointed... Absolutely Devasted... Times are bad but i have also believed in motivation. So i will fix this fucked up mess.

I will find another college. & Have actually applied for other colleges. Motherwell, Coatbridge & Adam smith. I will make it into this industry because I have potential & I will do it!

The only way to get over this is Be positive! you have to. or life swallows you up.

You stop showering, getting dressed, sleeping , eating, & depression is NOT the way to go. Trust me I know.

Also You me at six always help me out difficult times. So I am going to rely on them. My favourite band. For a reason.

They are so talented. & Their music touches me in such a way & i feel guilty for neglecting them recently. Because they will always be in my life. 

So to summarise. I will do this. so fuck you stow! I don't need you.

& When I get on my place at another college. I Will laugh so much. I will make this so basically Stow you have lost out.

So HA! I'm going to follow my dreams, It's all I can do.

Understand this. - You kick me when i'm down But I will prevail. I will carry on & Never give up.

So forget it Stow. You think this is keeping me down. Your wrong.